Is it enough yet?

I’m an ugly fat corpse.

What else do you want?

The number keeps going down, I can feel my body slowing down, they’ll put me in hospital soon unless I start lying and faking some weight gain, but what do I do when my kidneys fail again and my potassium is so low my heart will fail at any moment? I can’t fake those blood tests can I?

So just tell me when is it going to be enough?

When will you let go and just let me go into hospital to get well and not punish me for receiving nourishment and treatment and care…. When will I be deserving of those things?

You’ve taken my life from me.

Anyone who is looking for an eating disorder for a thigh gap. Fuck you, here is reality, ugly reality you aren’t hot, you become empty depressed and that person you may have been wanting to get that thigh gap for to impress, trust me, you’ll be too busy starving yourself and isolating yourself from them to even notice them. And friends, family… May as well say good bye to them too, they’ll try to express concern but you’ll know better and push them away until they can’t take watching you do this to yourself so they leave too.

This just turns into a lonely painful way to die.

And I just wish it would fuck off.